English Language Rules - My Thoughts Exactly!

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. ~ Doug Larsen

I’m a big fan of Mr. Larsen, but he is no etymologist. Yes, I know he was just being funny, but given his wide appeal, someone might think he’s onto something. While there are patterns to many multisyllabic words, the derivations aren’t always obvious. We don’t need to know the root words to do this, but having a framework is handy. Routine writing requires an understanding of a few basic rules for spelling and grammar. Emphasis here is on a few, as only a handful are highlighted.

Suffixes

Suffixes can be tricky, and I am not ashamed to admit that I don’t always know which way to jump when I’m playing the New York Times puzzle Spelling Bee and creating a word from seven letters. I’m not always sure of the spelling, and that game takes no prisoners. YourDictionary.com provides answers that can inform decisions, but you’ll need to go to the website for the whole load.

When adding an ed or ing to a word ending in a short vowel sound, double the last consonant unless the last consonant is already doubled. Batting. Sassing.
Multisyllable words ending in l will need that letter doubled before adding ed or ing. Patrolling. Travelling. Among the exceptions to the doubling rule are words ending in w, x, and y.
When adding a suffix that begins with a vowel to a word that ends in a silent e, drop it. Shaking. Creating.

The “ing” and “ed” suffixes are usually part of a native speaker’s muscle memory, but words ending in other suffixes are not as easy to remember. Such it is with ant and ent. Does a word meaning modest or lacking self-confidence end with ant or ent?* Cracking the abCode helps us with that.

Use ent with words that end in ce or ge and those ending in y, but you’ll need to change the y to i.
Use ant with other words that end in e.

*The word is diffident, and no, the rule I mentioned doesn’t appear to help unless you go back to the root word diffidere. Sorry.

Descriptive Modifier Placement and Proper Name Oddities

Surely, the most determined rule haters can see the value in the correct placement of descriptive modifiers. Without the requirement to set them in proximity to the noun, bedlam ensues. Allow me to illustrate, courtesy of the Grammar Diva.

Reading a book by the window, my cat jumped onto my lap. My cat is pretty smart, but he can’t read.
I must ask you to banish all information about the case from your mind, if you have any. This might offend your listener.
You might be interested in this antique desk suitable for a lady with thick legs and large drawers. I beg your pardon.

Now, some of those sentences might deliver the exact message intended, but I hope that is not the case. Let’s move on to rules addressing weird, formal noun possessives, via one of my favorites, Merriam-Webster.

When the name is one syllable, add ‘s to force a second syllable.
When a name is multi-syllable and ends in s or z, simply add an apostrophe.
For all names (that end in s) from classical mythology or the Bible, just add an apostrophe. Why? No clue.

To make a name plural, add an s, unless the name ends in an s. In that case, add es. Do not, under any circumstances, change a y to i.

Why Grammar and Spelling Rules Matter

In some circles, a level of disdain exists for protocol, and no amount of logic will overcome that aversion. I suspect that control issues are at the root of that attitude, but whatever the cause, I believe it’s a mistake. Well, it’s a mistake if the purpose of speaking and writing is communicating. In the same way that medians and guardrails keep us headed in the right direction, grammar rules set standards. These standards, in turn, create expectations for how a word is spelled and where it appears in a sentence. Rules establish precedents that mitigate the difficulty of the English language. Will you have to memorize some things? Yes, just like the multiplication tables. Are there exceptions to grammar and spelling rules? Of course. Just the same as for every other facet of your life. Don’t get hung up on the oddballs.

In a world where chaos so often reigns, it seems foolish to resist tools that create order. The only reason I can imagine for that type of obstinacy is a certain mindset–the one that demands excitement. Flaunting social norms and rules can be exhilarating for some. If that’s the case for you, I’ll manage my expectations.