A list of things you might not hear: eyelash opening on the pillow, the appearance of a star, a leaf leaving a tree, a hand in your hair, a lie being withheld, a tear’s journey from eye to shoe, the air becoming blue, longing. ~ How To Make A Bird
In a February post, I touched on an aspect of hearing, but the focus was our perception of the sounds we make, not on the common everyday use of our ears. Most of us think nothing of receiving and providing auditory transmissions every day. It’s so effortless, you may not have considered what your world would be like if you couldn’t hear. How would you communicate? I hadn’t thought about it before, either, but a few weeks ago this topic smacked me in the head. Since I doubt I’m the only person who takes hearing for granted, I’d like to provide a reminder of ways we rely on audibles.
Awareness, or lack of it
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of participating in an event that included American Sign Language (ASL) interpreters. In our down time, we chatted and I realized how very little thought I give to my auditory ability. For example, what about when I’m in an airport and hear:
- An announcement about my flight being delayed, or
- My name called to return to security for an item I forgot to take with me, or
- Which baggage carousel might contain my luggage?
These are but a few examples. Other sounds call us to get up or get out of the way. Or even to go help. How could I function effectively if I couldn’t hear any of those sounds? I’m afraid that thought hadn’t occurred to me until that day in the Park when I had the opportunity to communicate with people who couldn’t hear at all.
Apart from a new understanding of how hearing impacts my life, I learned other stuff. Let’s talk about that.
Things to remember when you can't be heard
Here’s another thing I gleaned while others were communicating with sign language in the Park that day: it is entirely too easy to interrupt a conversation if you aren’t looking at the speaker. You don’t hear anything, and if you don’t use your eyes, too, you miss that social cue. The one that is saying, “Wait your turn.” Awkward. Another good one is that if you are fortunate enough to have an ASL interpreter with you, it’s bad form to look at the person who’s signing on your behalf. Look at the person you’re talking to, not the interpreter. Your non-verbals are even more critical than usual in these situations.
Other suggestions came from Lara Whitfield Garfinkel at Knoxville Center of the Deaf (KDC), who was also part of the event at GSMNP. She says, “Make an effort to communicate. You can use your notes on your iPhone or gesture.” You might think you won’t know whether someone is deaf, but if you begin to speak to them, they’ll let you know. And as an FYI, not every deaf person uses ASL, so you might need to be creative. Also, some people read lips quite well; some don’t. Maintain eye contact when communicating, but manage your expectations.
And, just as we expect American English to differ from British English (or we should), sign language in other countries is not the same as what is used predominantly here. So if you’re visiting across the pond, you might want to check your gesticulations until you have brushed up on that particular foreign language.
A nod to learning
My brother has a significant amount of hearing loss, and he has a few suggestions that require no special skills. For example, when you’re on the phone, pay attention to the speed of your communication. Folks with high-frequency loss cannot hear consonants, and the faster the words trip off your tongue, the more difficult it is for a hearing-impaired individual to understand you. With his hearing aids, Nathan can make out about half the words in a phone call, but if someone is speaking rapidly, or very softly, most of that goes away. He also has commandments for the hearing, given to him in Costco when he bought his hearing aids:
- Thou shall get the attention of the person before speaking.
- Thou shall not speak when not facing the other person.
- Thou shall not speak while walking away.
- Thou shall not speak in competition with something else (running water, television, washing machine, etc).
- Thou shall not speak from another room.
- Thou shall try to speak face to face at all times.
- Thou shall not obstruct your face while speaking.
- Thou shall try to speak slowly and distinctly.
- Thou shall try to be patient.
These are stellar suggestions, even if I’m speaking to a hearing person. But then, it’s also a fact that I need to adjust my communication to my audience. I probably ought to do more of that to avoid frightening small children.
In the meantime, no matter how many languages I can speak, none of them will be useful with a person who is deaf. Learning ASL would solve that problem, at least in this country. I have taken classes before, and I can tell you some of the signs are quite intuitive. It may not be as difficult as you think to learn a few basic phrases. That, and there may be more ASL speakers around than you would guess. According to Lara (from KDC), it’s the third most popular language used in the United States. Not surprisingly, there are educational ASL videos all over the internet, but you want to be selective. For best results, spend time with a certified instructor.
If you are in an area with a significant population, there may be a center for the deaf near you. If not, check out the Senior Citizens Center or local colleges for available classes. You’re in luck if you happen to be in the Knoxville area. ASL 1 and ASL 2 classes are currently available. Contact Lara at Lwhitfield@kedtn.org to sign up.
I might take more ASL classes myself. I can always use ways to improve my communication skills, even if I don’t see a need for ASL in my life right now. I never know what might come in handy down the road.
You?
Good and much needed post. Some folks are naturally empathetic and pick up quickly if you are not hearing them, but many will never get it. When you are only picking up part of the words, hearing can be hard work. In a noisy situation, I just zone out and enjoy my peace and quiet. Do I have a hearing disability or am I not listening……the answer would be YES.
Airports are scary, especially international travel. Traveling with Susie is much less stressful. She tells me what to do, just like around the house.
It’s the airport and emergency stuff that hit me. Closed captions on TV are great, but when you urgently need visually messaging are those occasions when time constraints or imminent danger exists. Not sure how that would work in an airport or train station.