We receive our inheritance the day we learn a skill from a parent. How we use that skill will determine how far we go!
Most of us have likely compared our physical characteristics to family members to determine where we got the shape of our eyes or the length of our fingers. I consider that often, especially since I’ve been trying to learn more about my ancestors. There’s a temptation to blame our parents or grandparents for the squinty eyes or the hair at the back of the part that stands straight up like a Dr. Seuss character. Or is that just me?
The fact is that your DNA strand is a compilation of many generations, not just the last few. Some of your features may come from someone you haven’t yet found on Ancestors.com. You are, however, the only one with your particular recipe, if you will. You are unique as far as the gene pool cocktail goes. No one is exactly like you or me, and that’s probably good, but the differences are more than skin-deep. Beyond DNA, external components shape our behavior, perhaps our worldviews, and more.
What's genetic and what's not?
There may not be a consensus on this, but there have been studies. And, yes, studies and surveys can be skewed by the researcher, but let’s pretend the results are credible. The question posed is, “Which of your traits are acquired, not inherited?” The answer is complicated. An article published by Psychology Today suggests what I believe is a somewhat convoluted explanation. See if you can follow.
The author, René Mōttus, Ph.D., believes that DNA is inextricably linked to behavior. He hypothesizes that if certain of your physical characteristics are challenging, you will develop a workaround. Using that logic, my DNA is responsible for my strong preference to avoid social interactions due to my belief that I’m socially awkward. Sigh. What if my preference is a product of repeated failed encounters and totally unrelated to my biology?
I do take his point to some degree, since the cells that populate my brain have characteristics determined by my gene pool. But that holds water only if my nutrition level is sufficient to maintain a healthy mind and body. And that’s where external influences feed the other side of our inheritance. So, I’m not buying all he’s selling. And, yes. I understand he has a doctorate and I don’t. If you need convincing that no degreed person can err, I’ve got nothin’. Feel free to close this tab.
That was unkind. Even Mōttus gives an out on the “DNA is the primary driver” claim, but from my perspective, other sources are more logical.
Acquired behaviors
Consider for a moment some of your gestures, postures, and facial reactions that have no [obvious] link to your bloodline. Think about your last conversation and what you said, or what made you laugh. Then ask yourself where any of that came from. Here are some possibilities:
- Family dynamics
- Socio-economic factors
- Cultural norms
One source I accessed is Frontiers in Psychology, which leans heavily on cultural influences for answers. An example the article mentions is humor, which is not valued as much in some cultures as in others. Chinese people do not view having a sense of humor as particularly creative, and definitely do not see it as a positive trait. Anyone raised in that environment would naturally squelch the impulse to crack wise.
Perhaps that example is extreme, but it isn’t without merit. Think about how many people you know who would not be able to communicate if their hands were tied behind their backs. Or those who use exaggerated facial expressions to reinforce their words. Neither of those examples is directly related to DNA but could easily be influenced by the community that governs behavior.
Speaking of governing behavior, your family unit probably dictated guardrails unrelated to neighborhood or ethnic expectations. In our family, lazy was a four-letter word. We did not sleep late on weekends or holidays. Up and at ’em! Need money to go to the Dairy Bar? Get a job. Mother and Daddy instilled a killer work ethic in each of their three offspring. That, and a respect for authority, which meant complaining about whatever was on the table for supper was a no-go.
What part of your inheritance serves you best?
My siblings and I laugh at mostly the same things, though my brother’s idea of what’s funny can be a little off-center. We all appreciate the value of education and meaningful work. We love to read. None of that is genetic, though my ancestors’ priorities may well have been passed down through the ages, simply with an external mechanism–not the bloodline. I will be forever grateful for that solid foundation, which comprises a large part–probably the best part–of my acquired inheritance.
Sadly, even with great parents, I’m not perfect. I won’t speak for my siblings, but I can be a little impatient if someone is excessively slow when trying to make a point. It follows that I might be too direct on occasion. Sometimes I frown when I’m deep in thought, which probably gives the impression that I’m annoyed. That can scare small children and some adults. None of that is genetic. I don’t specifically recall learning those habits from either parent, but I got them somewhere along the way. They had to be “inherited” from family or community norms.
As with all of you, I received genetic traits over which I have no control. I can’t change my squinty eyes, my misbehaving flyaways, or any other DNA-dictated feature. Fortunately, though, I have a decent brain, a better-than-average ability to spot errant commas and an ever-expanding vocabulary. These are mine to apply as I choose–for either good or evil. The same is true of acquired attributes. How they are exercised is entirely up to the individual. Simply because we are the beneficiary of an acquired trait doesn’t mean we’re stuck with it.
However we came by our gifts, we should be able to weed out the bad ones and strengthen those that serve us–and others–well. We just need to feed the right wolf.
A grandfather is talking with his grandson. The grandfather says, “In life, there are two wolves inside of us which are always at battle. One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear.”
The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”
The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.”
I love your musings of today and your closing parable. Whether nature or nurture, our lives are largely dictated by the feeding of the two wolves. Keep on musing, my friend!
I fear I have no choice but to muse on. Thanks for the encouragement.
And there is my favorite coffee cup, “If I like my bad habits…..are they still bad?”
I believe the answer to that would be subjective. 😉