Humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle. – G. K. Chesterton
I understand that not everyone will agree with me when I say there are more occasions served by levity than by solemnity. To take this a step further, consider that the use of humor can also help you learn. I am not making this up. According to a page on Dr. James Stanfield’s website, humor has a number of benefits, and engaging students is one of the biggies. If people aren’t listening, why are you wasting your breath by talking to them? This brings me to my work-related point.
Corporations, well, all businesses, are serious about their decision making. Not criticizing that mentality. However, how many of us have been in situations that would have been improved by a reduction in the tension? If your goal is to win over those who disagree with your proposal(s), why wouldn’t you want to use tools that advance your argument? Here’s an example.
Your team has convened to determine which of a handful of projects should be prioritized. One person is entrenched in a particular position, and will not budge. Verbal arrows are launched, directed at a team member who holds a different view. “You’re too attached to your ideas; try listening for a change!” The targeted individual does not evolve into a listener, however, but becomes more pigheaded. A laugh might have at least resulted in an open mind. There are many articles that address managing conflict with humor, but you don’t have to read those to understand its importance.
In case you need another quote from yet another wise man, Daddy always said, “You can say anything you want if you say it with a smile.” I can tell you from experience that this will only take you so far, corporately, since some people with high pay grades do not have a well developed sense of humor. Nonetheless, it beats belligerence and defensiveness or any aggressive emotional display. Here are two examples. In the first I was on the receiving end and in the second I was shelling it out.
#1 – I was sitting in an insurance carrier training session on commercial Auto/GL. We were in a tightly-packed room, with about 50 attending. Mr. W., the department manager, was the trainer. Keep in mind that this was well before I understood, let alone leveraged, corporate protocol. The discussion included the inherent hazards associated with not-for-profit entities that have collection boxes for used clothing all over God’s creation. Well, they did then, but that was a different century. Anyway, the comment was made that there was no way to know where all those boxes were and whether the lighting was adequate, whether the bins were stable (unlikely to tip), and whether any of them might be an attractive nuisance. That kind of thing. Sadly, I was sitting next to a very good friend, and you know that is never a good idea when there will be snarky comment opportunities. So, I made one. Under my breath–not far enough under–I said that one of our FSMs would know where all the bins were because his apparel appeared to come from some of them. Yes, it was unkind. Let’s move on.
Anyway, Mr. W. asked me to repeat the comment. And I did. Can’t say I didn’t own it. That could have been a lecturing (not teaching) moment that would have embarrassed me beyond measure. But he only said, “Well, only he knows for sure.” Everyone laughed. Everyone. No tension in the room. No excoriating remarks. But I still learned my lesson.
#2 – In a somewhat more recent conversation, I was talking to one of my Florida agency owners. He was incredibly intelligent and well-versed in Florida insurance issues; we both knew it. We also both knew how much he liked to share his knowledge. One day after he’d been pontificating at length, he said, “Well, I’ll get down off my high horse.” And before I could stop myself, “But you’re so comfortable up there” came out of my mouth. Because I always go for the laugh. Fortunately, he thought it was funny, too. And then we were able to discuss production opportunities, which was really the reason for his call and one of the reasons I got paid for talking.
That was some time ago, but in every phase of your life you’ll have opportunities to influence outcomes. While I am retired, I do a little volunteer work and I belong to a number of organizations. That said, I talk to a great number of people every week, so I still have conversational choices to make. Shall I escalate the tension when it arises, or shall I deflate it? Sometimes I will have the last clear chance to either win an argument or to make someone laugh. I’m thinking it’s better to exit laughing.
You?
Escalate on Wednesdays.
I got your back 😎
Ah, Wednesdays. It’s easier to be funny on some days than it is on others. Remind me if I forget. Appreciate the support. Incidentally, did you know that “got your back” originated in WWII? Who knew?