Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it. ~ The Story Girl
As long as we can reach into our brains and pull out a memory, we are always holding onto that person, place, or thing. Recall, though, from my post in February that every time you take out a memory and hold it in your hands, the possibility exists that you are changing it with your very touch. My unanswered question in that post, though, was why we hang on to non-emotional memories at all. I have found a thread that could help, if pulled a little further. That, and I’m including a few interesting body language theories that relate to memory.
What about my memory from 1955?
I could be way off in my hypothesis, but I’m wondering if the memory I hung onto for no apparent reason (standing at my grandmother’s back door) was retained because it was both iconic (visual) and echoic (auditory). These types of records are stored separately in their own dedicated parts of the brain, according to Psychology (Law, Halkiopoulos & Bryan-Zaykov). I’m wondering if particularly comforting events, given double the storage, impact the degree of retention. Also, in that case, in my grandmother’s little kitchen, there would have been something quite fragrant cooking on the stove. I know this because my grandma was a really good cook. So would that serve to embed the memory even more? I don’t know. As I said, I’m just speculating at this point.
But I promised some other little tidbits, so let’s move along to those.
And why does the public remember certain events?
Once again referring to the Psychology textbook referenced in the prior section, there’s a phenomenon called a flashbulb memory (FBM) that has more to do with the reception of the news than it does with the news itself. Consider high visibility events like the death of Elvis or John Wayne, or perhaps the shooting of JFK.
If you admired any of these people, hearing of their deaths would make an impression.* Likely, you would discuss the event with people in your social group and that would further cement the memory. Much of what you would remember, though, would not be directly related to the deceased.** That is, the participants in the Brown and Kulik study remembered details such as where they were and who they were with at the time. This is more prevalent in individualistic cultures such as the USA, UK, Australia, and the Netherlands and less so in collectivistic cultures such as China and Japan, to name a few, according to 2009 studies by Paez et al and by Wang and Aydin.
*Studies by: Julian et al (2009); **Brown and Kulik (1977)
Where do you look for a memory?
Which direction do you look? I don’t know. Where do you normally look? On one site I read that fabrications are always indicated by looking up to the right and that memories are retrieved by looking up to the left. However, more than one site indicates that accurately reading the most important indications of intent require that you understand the person’s baseline. What do they usually do when trying to remember? According to Business Insider, an individual’s habits might lead you to brand them as a liar (my words, not theirs) in lieu of someone simply trying to remember an event or conversation.
This makes me think of a class I facilitated on communication. The material I used for delivery proposed that one of the signals of disinterest or defensiveness was crossed arms. That could be so misleading. When observing those of us who are excessively cold-natured, you might simply be seeing someone who is trying to retain body heat. And if you haven’t established a baseline, you won’t know that. You may not be able to tell anything about anyone’s non-verbal communication before you know them well. But, according to that same Business Insider article, there are a few fairly reliable signs to watch out for. This post is about memories, so you’ll have to read the article yourself to flush out liars in your circle. Back to memory.
All told, the construction of memories and the ability to pull them up out of each person’s individual rolodex is incredibly complex. I have read a number of opinions and speculations that draw disparate conclusions, and I don’t believe my initial question can be answered with any degree of assurance. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe we should just enjoy the gift we’re given. That is, the ability to remember as much as we can for as long as we can.
What about the bad memories, you ask? Well, they can be helpful, too. How would you know what activity not to repeat or who to avoid or which plant is better left alone? Bad memories can leave a mark, and they can be as much of a help as a hindrance.
I’ll leave you with the links and the speculation and you can decide for yourself. In the meantime, Check out the video below to hear ideas on why we remember better when we close our eyes. Does HowStuffWorks know how stuff works? No idea.
You?
