Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely. ~ The Light in the Heart
In case you’re wondering about the image, one of my favorite ways to relax is blowing soap bubbles. Yes, the kind that kids like. Don’t judge. 😉
Looking back
Some days ago a friend and I sat together, waiting for others to arrive for a class. We chatted, bouncing from one topic to another. One item that bubbled up was the effect our expectations have on the choices we make. To illustrate, I will relate only my story, but I expect hers was similar.
The first five houses I lived in as a child had one bathroom. There were five of us. People with no indoor plumbing would have thought we were in a castle. We had both electricity and plumbing. However, when you’re a kid you don’t usually think about people who have less than you do. I might have thought about people who had more; at least I did after I was a teenager. But, I don’t remember making comparisons before then. Does it take us a while to develop that kind of awareness?Â
Once I noticed, I couldn’t unsee the differences. Did I want what someone else had? No, I don’t think so. I simply saw that our lives weren’t the same. I never thought I was missing anything. There’s a big however, though. Once you’re exposed to nice things, you get the idea it would be nice to have them. You get an appetite, and you pass it on.
Current view
As is the case with most parents, I want the best for my offspring. Whatever paths they choose in life, I want them to be financially stable. That priority is right up there with work ethic adherence and job satisfaction. It would make me anxious if they didn’t have enough to take care of their families and have a good start on their retirement savings.
And of course, it’s nice if they have the funds for their brand of toys: a Jeep, a Gator (not the type you might confuse with a Croc), time and equipment for target practice, pets, and sufficient assets available for trips. I’m not saying those things aren’t nice. I like them, too. Well, I don’t need a Jeep, but you understand. As a culture, each generation seems to become more and more attached to things.Â
What’s more, I don’t know where it stops. Can we go back to playing Rook or Canasta or Mancala or putting puzzles together? Should we? Would it be better if we worked on what matters most–relationships, for example? Perhaps if we look at the rest as, “It will be quite a lovely surprise if it happens,” we’ll open ourselves up to disappointments less frequently. I have often said that managing expectations is the key to happiness, and I stand by it.
The best times, because of ...?
In closing, some of my happiest times have been with the people you see in these photos. None of my happiness or satisfaction on these occasions has anything to do with material possessions. If memory serves, the time I spent with my loved ones mattered more than my location or my structural environment. Are we teaching the younger generation(s) what to value most? I’m not sure.
You?
Great points! I know I’ve failed in many ways as a parent but all my kids play cards, board games and we love to do puzzles. I do agree that there’s something to be said about that! Thanks for sharing!
Love it! My kids do the same. 🙂
I think, therefore I am. 😊
Pretty much. Exciting, in your case. Ha!
I love your comments in this post, Gayle. They are right on the mark. At some point, many people’s enjoyment of things and their expectations turn to greed. That’s where the real dangers lie. Humanity (including me) needs more lessons in appreciation than on wealth acquisition. You’ve got the makings of an awesome book on mindfulness and appreciation in your blog!
Thank you, Angela! Glad you enjoyed it.