A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight. ~
The above quote resonates with me. I like to read good novels over and over and I glean something different from them with each reading. Same with passages in the Bible. The impact varies according to what’s going on in my life. Our experiences change our perceptions and if you’re eligible for senior citizens’ discounts, you’ve seen a multitude of changes–scientific and medical advances plus personal challenges you’ve had to overcome. So. Much. Change. But all that pales in comparison to the 180° change inside our heads. Allow me to illustrate.
Perspective from the Young
I recall a family gathering from years ago when my son was a toddler. We were at my grandmother’s place and her floors were uncarpeted. Ben took a tumble and immediately looked up at me to see my reaction. Without even checking his little knees, I said, “You’re ok. Hop up.” And he did. Fortunately, he really was uninjured; not even a skinned knee. But he checked to see the reaction around him before he made his next move. Or the next sound. He got his cues from others.
On the other hand, if you observe a fall by a somewhat older person, perhaps a teenager or a young adult, the response will be completely different. Assuming the individual is healthy, she will look around to see if there are witnesses to the navigational error. Witnesses, not help. Likely the person will correct her orientation to an upright position with the speed of sound. You know, to reduce her visibility and manage her embarrassment. I know this from personal experience. Of course, our response to physical mishaps is just one aspect of perspective.
Evolution of How We Perceive ... Everything
As we grow wiser with age, we begin to consider the big picture and are less inclined to make snap judgments. At least, that’s what Mohsin Fakir tells us in a LinkedIn piece. After a great many years (relative phrase, that), we have seen enough and heard enough to know that not every question has only one answer. Here are a few [non-controversial] examples:
- How are you today? I often answer, “Never better!” because I am, quite frankly, relieved that I’m still breathing. Every. Day. Does my hip hurt? Probably. Would I have complained about that 20 years ago? Absolutely. Now? Not so much. It’s small in the scheme of things.
- What’s your favorite place to visit? Hands down, Cornwall, England. Decades ago I might have named a Florida beach. You know, back when I didn’t mind getting wet. And sunburned. Now I am infatuated with the history and the rugged beauty of Cornwall, and it’s no small thing that some of my favorite people live over there. When I was a young adult, I had never heard of Cornwall or any number of other places that I’ve traveled to over the last 30 years. How can we make sweeping statements about what’s best when we have experienced very little?
- Where do you want to go out to eat? My back porch, if we must go out. Of course I like to head to Longhorn’s occasionally, but I much prefer to eat at home. Before I retired, I traveled extensively for business, dining, and lodging on the company’s dime. It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. No matter who is paying for dinner these days, I’d rather be in a controlled environment in the company of people I know. That, and the food is less expensive.
The longer we live, the better we know ourselves and what makes us truly happy. Our priorities and how we budget our time and money change as well. The aforementioned Mr. Fakir mentions the change of priorities and preferences as well. That, and how much more we appreciate the small things as we age. Consider how you react when someone unintentionally cuts you off and the driver waves when he realizes his mistake. All is forgiven. A tiny courtesy, but much appreciated.
Am I saying that every person over 55 is wise? A deep-thinker with a good grip on what matters in this life? Certainly not. My mama didn’t raise any girl fools. No boy fools, either, for that matter. I am saying, though, that humans have a better shot at being the best they’ll ever be once they’ve burst through the bubble wrap and explored new territories. That’s the case whether those territories mean different jobs, relationships, or travel. Or all three. As I mentioned in a December 2022 post, I know I’m better positioned now to understand what matters than I was 50 years ago.
My Perspective on Perspective
When you look at the featured image above, you see a highway with white lines that appear to form a V in the distance. But once you get to that distant point in your journey, you’ll see that the white lines are still about 24′ apart. You can’t judge what lies ahead if you haven’t been there. This is one reason that youngsters (anyone under 40) are certain that old age begins at 45 or 50. They can’t possibly understand that someone my age carries no small amount of sympathy for their lack of experience, and I am amused by their sorrowful assessment of my age. I am not discounting the health issues that come with a long life, but I wouldn’t change places with anyone younger than I am. Full stop. That said, age limitations force mental adjustments, and that brings me back to revisiting my response to falling,
When I was eight, I took a flyer down a gravel drive. Painful that, and when I looked around I was hoping for comfort and a bandaid. I still fall, as neither grace nor coordination are among the gifts God granted me. I have scars to prove it. When I fell in my 40s and 50s I also looked around, but on those occasions I was hoping no one saw me. In one notable case, my crash was high visibility since I was teaching a class. At least I had witnesses for the WC claim.
Now, however, when I fall I am back to the eight-year-old me, looking to see if someone can help me. And when I say now, I mean recent. The last time I fell (flew?) off a treadmill was a week ago. And, yes, I called out for help as soon as I felt myself falling, then laughed as I got up because nothing was broken. What would have humiliated me a decade ago doesn’t make the top 10 list these days.
Practically speaking, I have fewer years left than I have lived already. I hope I have gained enough wisdom–and yes, perspective–to disregard small setbacks and unintentional slights. I believe that’s the best way to make the most of the minutes I have left.
You?
I agree that my perspectives have greatly changed since my youth. I am most amazed with those similarly chronologically gifted around me that seem to have their minds stuck in the world they grew up on rather than in something resembling today. It’s certainly a frightening thought to think about the many people who live in the past, or want to live there, but can never do so given the very rapidly changing present.
I wonder sometimes if, for some people, dealing with “today” is just too scary. We’re all wired differently and perhaps some individuals prefer to stick their heads in the sand. I don’t understand it, but that approach makes it difficult to have a substantive conversation.
I will finish a boo even though I hate it because some part of me still hopes that the author will make that one Hail Mary shot thw will turn the book into something great. The other part of me just says, “No, I will not be beaten by this book.” So, I guess that makes me a sucker who’s just too competitive for my own good. 😊
I don’t think you’re a sucker, but you are most certainly competitive.