Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Recently I requested responses to a poll that asked, “If you didn’t know how old you are how old would you be?” I got some interesting responses. The answers, incidentally, were more for the participants than for me. You know, just to get you [some of you] to think about how you view yourself. I’m forever 16, even though that ship sailed chronologically decades ago. I’m pretty sure some of you feel the same way. I say this because there were three responses younger than my answer [16], and one was only 4! I think I know who you are, by the way. 😉 But back to the point of this post.
Obviously I know I’m not a teenager, but my outlook on learning and what constitutes fun may be different from my chronological peers. Here’s how I see it.Â
Justification for selection
When I was actually 16 years old, I:
- Went to school.
- Worked in the cafeteria as a cashier at lunch and at Piggly Wiggly after school and on Saturdays.
- Attended church every Sunday morning and night. And Wednesday night.
- Sang in the church choir.
- Loved:
- To read.
- To make people laugh.
- Cats.
- Country music.
- Earning good grades.
- Cooking.
- Blowing soap bubbles. (As mentioned in a previous post.)
- Had many acquaintances, but just a few tight friends.Â
What made me think of this right now? A very good friend (one I’ve only known since the early-90s) gave me a book by Joan Lunden, “Why Did I Come Into This Room?”. My friend is several years younger than I am, if you want to use the actual number of birthdays, and she expressed concern that it would insult me. But she knew I’d enjoy the read. She should know that I don’t care a whit about the mathematical calculation that produces my body’s age.Â
There are times you need to care about chronological age and times you don’t. Let’s look at both.
Physical Reality
Whether we like it or not, we get older. Well, until we don’t. But let’s concentrate on the here and now. As long as you’re breathing, you need to provide scheduled maintenance. I mean, you wouldn’t wait to change your oil until it’s like sludge and damages your car’s engine. I hope.
Same way with your body. Got to keep an eye on your parts to make sure they function as well as they can for as long as they can.
Lunden’s book has more of this perspective, reminding ladies of a certain age to do the scheduled maintenance, get involved in activities that aren’t all about you, and drink a lot of water. Oh, and for the love of all that’s holy, let go of those memories that hold regrets. The advice was hers; the commentary was mine.
The book is packed with common sense advice and injected with humor. That makes the medicine go down better, according to at least one well-known nanny. Wait. Mary Poppins said sugar, not humor. 😉
That’s all well and good, but the passage that hooked me was the story of a conversation with a Bedouin woman. To someone of our culture, she looked as though she might be the matriarch, the grandmother. Her age was difficult to assess, though, since her face was weathered by the sun and wind. Lunden was curious (and bold) when she asked the interpreter to find out the woman’s age. She responded that she didn’t know. They didn’t have clocks or calendars and their lives were ruled by the sunrises and sunsets and the seasons. No one knew their age, and they didn’t seem to care.Â
If you want to know more about Lunden’s advice, take a look at the video below. Or just read the book. It’s much more comprehensive.
The age in my head (what makes me younger than my birthday says)
If you compare my habits from 1968 to now, you may think there are some serious discrepancies. Yes, I’d agree. I wasn’t much of a thinker then, and I lacked the confidence I have now. Both are advantages of living well beyond 16.
Let’s look my bulleted list very briefly. I’d go back to school for my Ph.D. if I had the funding. I don’t have a paycheck, but I do stay busy outside my home with regular volunteer work. I’m a person of great faith and I love to sing. Well, I do sing when I’m alone in my car.Â
Everything starting with Loved is exactly the same. I really haven’t changed that much in my head. Maybe that’s why I stuck with 16. I even look like the 60s’ me if I stand far away from the mirror and dim the lights. And only look at my face. Can’t have it all.
Survey
The survey I sent out on Facebook had just one question. How old would you be if didn’t know how old you were? I received a wide range of answers, as mentioned above. You may not have participated, but it isn’t too late to think about it. For anyone reading this post, how about reassessing your mental age now? Consider how you select the age that’s in your head. Have you really changed a lot, or are you burdening yourself with passing problems and past actions that you can’t change?Â
The survey participant I suspect of selecting a very low number (assuming I’m correct) grabs onto life with all the gusto Schlitz beer used to urge. She is a lifelong learner, works hard, and cares passionately about her friends and family. Oh, and she loves to laugh. I think she and I are on the same page, though she executes WAY better than I can. Maybe she is 4 in an adult body. Why can’t that be a good thing?
I know why I picked 16, and I’m sticking to it. Some people might want to change their original estimate.
You?
Wow mentally it changes. It drips as low as 10 or as high as 18. So on average I’d say14.
Physically probably like 70 although certain tasks such as climbing ladders in the bed of my truck make me think I’m
Younger or immortal.
I can absolutely see that in you. 😉
Looks like this lady might need a senior GPS…..tells you where you are, how long to get there then when you arrive…..why you went there……sorry.
Oh, get outta here. You know darned well you likely have the same experience. If you haven’t, you will. That does give me an idea for another post, though. Thanks! g
My age seems relatively fluid. Only a few long weeks ago, riding in the hill country on my motorcycle, I was in my mid 40s. Sitting here recovering from bypass surgery and needing something across the room and trying to decide if it is worth the pain……mid-80s to mid 90’s.
You’ll be back to your youthful self very soon!
Love this blog. I live in my own Neverland. And these lyrics played in my head as I read your blog:
Fairytales can come true
It can happen to you
If you’re young at heart
For it’s hard you will find
To be narrow of mind
If you’re young at heart
You can go to extremes
With impossible schemes
You can laugh when your dreams
Fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting
With each passing day
And love is either in your heart
Or on it’s way
Don’t you know that it’s worth
Every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are
It’s much better by far
To be young at heart
And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you’ll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You’ve had a head start
If you are among the very
Young at heart.
That’s exactly it. Keeping a childlike [not childish], enthusiastic outlook makes every new experience an adventure.
Love these lyrics and I was hearing the music as I read. Attitude is key.