People who are saying that they are afraid of heights are usually not actually afraid of heights. They are afraid of falling, which means it’s a synonym for losing control. So they have to get in touch with the definitional belief to find out what’s really going on. ~
Usually I select quotes because they are thought provoking or amusing. This time the quote offered a possible explanation for one of my own fears. But first, let’s explore fears vs phobias and learn what qualifies as irrational.
Is it real, or is it just you?
Most of us know a few people who are afraid of something that doesn’t phase most of the population. Maybe they get anxious in tight places, or maybe the mere thought of being in close proximity to a certain thing creates extreme anxiety. Perhaps there’s a reason for some of these behaviors, but probably not all. Some of these fears are phobias, and according to Allied Psychiatry, there’s a clear distinction between the two.
Fear is healthy, a built-in alarm system that heightens your senses to keep you save. Phobia, on the other hand, is a reaction to something or someone that isn’t actually a threat, but still triggers a strong adverse reaction.
My granddaughter took this photo at The Drop in Merus Adventure Park. I was too much of a scaredy-cat to walk close enough to the edge to take the picture. It’s difficult to see in this image, but the road drops rather sharply. You can see where it picks up below, but you can’t see the 20-30 yards before that. I couldn’t either, but the masochistic freaks among you would have loved it. Too mean? One other thing, in some places it’s a reach to call it a “road.”
And then there's the Irrational component
Phobias are generally considered irrational, since there is little actual risk involved, except in the subject’s mind. According to LifeStance Health, a few common examples are:
- Agoraphobia is the fear of open and enclosed spaces. I don’t understand this. How would a safe place be defined, if both open and closed are off-limits?
- Acrophobia is fear of heights. Got it.
- Aerophobia is fear of flying. So, would that be fear of flying as in self-propelled or in an aircraft?
Some fears might be a result childhood trauma, and recovery is slow. Or impossible. If a child is bitten by a dog, it wouldn’t be surprising if that memory generates a negative response for awhile. However, if that same person is afraid of all dogs a decade later, the fear is irrational.
Of course, the more extreme the fear, the more varied and intense the reactions will be. Here is a sampling of physical responses some of us experience:
- A racing or thudding heartbeat – check. When I was with my daughter around the canyon rim, my heart rate increased from 73 to 112 within a few minutes and I was simply a passenger in a sturdy vehicle.
- Feeling nauseous or lightheaded – wellll, I get carsick anyway, so who knows what caused that?
- Sweating – check. I really need to carry a small towel when I visit the canyon rim because the knees of my jeans catch the brunt of my sweaty palms.
There are also emotional responses: the need to escape, feeling faint, feeling like you’re losing control. See the whole list in the LifeStance Health website.
What can you do about phobias?
Self-help is possible for phobias you are able to self-diagnose, and a number of suggestions are provided by HelpGuide.org. Please know that I am passing these along only as ideas. I have no way of determining whether they’re valid. That, and if your fears are extreme, seeking professional help might be best. But here we go with an abbreviated list:
- Face your fears. This is more detailed than you might think. Take a hard look at pain points to determine the exact problem. As an example, a friend of mine invited me to join a Facebook group on Tennessee Snake Identification. I don’t think I have a phobia related to snakes, but I certainly have a degree of aversion. I would say my issues are primarily the fear of being injured as well as a reluctance to be startled. The more I learn, the less concerned I am and the less likely I am to be injured. Or startled.
- Learn to manage your own anxiety, as much as possible. Practice a deep breathing exercise to minimize your physical responses. Click here for directions.
- Challenge your own negative generalizations. As an example, if you are worried about an elevator crash, do some research. How often does an elevator fall an injure occupants? Has anyone ever died due to an elevator malfunction?
You get the idea. Play the part of devil’s advocate against yourself and maybe you can talk yourself out of some of your irrational fears.
Last thoughts
I do, of course have my own phobias. When I look at the quote I selected, plus some of the websites I accessed, I see that I was wrong in my self-assessment. I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of falling, and with good reason. Grace is not one of my gifts.
I’m not excessively afraid of snakes, after all. Not really, especially after a friend began a campaign to de-sensitize me. Thanks, Walt. I don’t care for surprises, as a rule, and usually when I see a snake, I’m not expecting it.
With steep slopes and the slitheries, I actually just don’t care to lose the reins.
Close spaces still freak me out a bit. Have you seen Poseidon Adventure? I can’t breathe when I watch Shelley Winters swimming to safety. And I still would prefer to avoid being in any crawlspace, even though I know, intellectually, that a large structure is unlikely to fall on me.
I’m not sure I know how to attack these kinds of fears, but I am confident I won’t put myself in those positions. So why do I even think of them?
We all have situations or objects we’d rather avoid. My opinion is that if you have a problem you can’t ignore, or at least resolve on your own, perhaps you need to pay somebody to help you fix it.
You?
Your welcome. Always makes me smile when someone works past the edge a bit and faces their fear.
FYI, as a pilot with over 40 years of experience and over 15,000 hours in the air, I am afraid of heights.
Or as you say, falling. Flying doesn’t bother me. Standing next to a glass window on a tall building, makes me weak in the knees. Love your blogs.
Yeah, well, if you’d been watching me in the Park for the past few years, you would have seen a lot of those instances. 😉 I am surprised at your fear of heights. I get weak-kneed sitting in the top row of a stadium, for example, but planes and helicopters don’t bother me at all. Go figure.
Glad you enjoy the posts. Feel free to share the joy.
Had to think long and hard of any phobia. I finally came up with one. I think my phobia is fear of running out of ketchup!
I’ll help you with your list next time I see you. 😉
For many years I would not ride in a helicopter. My husband intended to take a copter tour of volcanoes in Hawaii. Nope. The sound of the blades whirring and that loud engine caused a feeling of thudding in my chest. I’m not sure I even remember when I traced this back to watching news clips in the late ’60s during the Vietnamese war, but I remember there were always helicopters in the film and of course that awful body count report. Identifying how this started helped. I hear a helicopter approach with no problem. That’s a relief but I still have no intention of banking in a helicopter over the mouth of a volcano.
It’s usually a good idea to pull the threads and learn where a problem started. As you say, it might not always fix it, but you might see an improvement in your reaction. As an aside, I’m not afraid to ride a helicopter generally, but over a volcano? Not sure. I think my fear of falling would kick in. Ridiculous, I know, but there we are.
I always look forward to your comments, Lee.